Not only women, but men as well have been known to fake orgasms. A survey published in the Journal of Sex Research in 2010 revealed that 25% of the male participants had admitted to faking an orgasm at some point in their lives.
Men are less likely to fake orgasms, and they do not do so in a systematic way. However, women often feel the pressure of societal expectations to experience orgasm and may imitate it as a result. The pressure to conform to these expectations can make a woman feel inadequate if she does not have an orgasm.
But when you finally admit to yourself that you can no longer pretend, a new dilemma arises: how do you approach your partner? How do you express that this particular sexual position is not enjoyable for you and that you've never experienced an orgasm while in it?
Research from Canadian scientists reveals that there is a 70% chance of improvement in your relationship. Additionally, if you are truly ready to stop pretending and take ownership of your actions, it doesn't mean you have to dump everything on your partner at once. Instead of saying, "I've been lying to you for 20 years, now it's your problem," you can approach the situation differently.
Begin the conversation with your partner using the phrase: "I feel like..." If talking directly is challenging for you, consider writing down your thoughts instead. You can even use separated words to express yourself. Ask your partner to share their emotions and be prepared to receive fragmented verbal feedback.
If you are aware of what triggers your orgasm, it's time to incorporate it into your sexual routine! Try using a hand for clitoral stimulation or experimenting with different positions.
If you don't experience orgasms even in solo play, it's time to involve your partner in the search. Don't be afraid to suggest changing things up – after all, there might be something that isn't working for you.
One last point. Fairness is essential to us, but there's a fine line between being truthful and simply overloading your partner with information, hoping it will make a difference. The key takeaway here is that your physical sensations are just as important as the end goal of climax. Focusing solely on reaching this ultimate "finish" robs you of the true enjoyment of sex.
